As a mum, the almost 9 months of experience has gifted me some lessons in life. One being balance. Pre-baby Tash had great balance. Work, social life, my relationship, family time and alone time all had its place. If that balance was disrupted by something I'd always have the time & opportunity to make it up again. Post-baby Tash really struggles with this.
I always feel like I have to sacrifice something. Whether its not brushing my teeth because lord knows it took me 2 hours to get Ruby ready and myself dressed, if I don't leave the house now I never will. Or if its not catching up with my friends because the mini diva wont sleep & I'm too scared she will scream the cafe down. There's always something. And when one thing misses out, it throws everything off. It took a lot of thinking to re-prioritize my life, and this is kinda where it stands at the moment.
My relationship with Arie has to run parallel to my parenting. Although I put my all into being a mother I know that one day Ruby will be an adult and will fly the nest (waaa!) and Arie and I will be left behind. Just us two. He's the one who pulls me through the tough times and celebrates the good and just like any relationship a marriage needs work. Its not something you commit to then let be. So everyday even if its only for 30mins before bed we hang out and joke and forget for a minute we are parents.
Ruby needs to take priority. This is a no brainer really. I am her whole world (along with a few other people) but she needs me. Shes young and this wont always be the case so I'm relishing the dependence while its here. I am trying my absolute hardest to raise the best human I can and that means it takes a lot of my effort & time.
My friends have to be understanding. Since becoming a mum I've lost some friends. In all honesty I don't blame them. Its mostly because we are at different places in our lives. My place takes me away from having a busy social calendar and nights out so I know that makes me boring. I've also made a lot of friends. Mostly all mums themselves who understand what its like to send the text "sorry wont make it today, Ruby's decided she wont let me put pants on her". For those friends I am forever grateful.
Work fits in where it can. I'm fortunate enough to be a stay at home mum who works some weekends here and there. Flexibility has been key. At least when Ruby is young.
Me time. Yeah.... I'm still working on that. Arguably the most important part.
I haven't got it all figured out, or even half of it. But I hope with being transparent about the fact motherhood/parenthood is overwhelming I hope this makes someone else feel not quite as alone. Balance seems like something I'll always be striving for. When I work out the magic formula I'll be sure to let you all know! hahaha!