A close friend of mine has just revealed she is pregnant and she has been after advice. It got me thinking, what is the stuff I wish I had known before having a baby. Not the pinterest kind of stuff the real stuff. The stuff people overlook & dont share. Here is just a small part of it. I so hope this helps some first time mamas.
1. Dont presume
"it was probably just a fart" "I'm sure my baby will be sleeping through the night by 3 months" "I know what I'm doing now" HAHAHAHAHAhhahahaa NO. Noooooo. As soon as you assume something your baby knows it, they smell it in the air and do the EXACT OPPOSITE. Stay clueless. You will never know what you are doing. 9 times out of 10 it will be wrong but be confident in the fact it does work out in the end.
2. Dont buy fancy toys
Ruby's favorite toys at the moment are (in this order): the remote, hair clip, keys, napkin, pack of baby wipes, bobby (our dog). I cant count the amount of times shes thrown the expensive brightly coloured educational toy to the side in favor of a piece of lint.
3. Baby's don't keep
Everybody says it, for good reason. It literally feels like yesterday Ru was just a bundle of skin who did nothing but poop, eat and sleep. Now shes a little person, everyday she finds her personality more and more. Each day she needs me less and less. So soak up every minute like a sponge.
4. Labor wasn't the hard part
Ya. You heard me right. The months on months of sleep deprivation, with someone screaming crying, the sore boobs all of it. And just to ice that cake you will have no idea how to fix it. THAT is the hard part.
5. Nail a good swaddle technique
6. You can't do it alone
This was something I learnt the hard way. I'm a head strong lady who likes to think she could make it on her own in the big bad world but I can't. No one can. Ask for help when it all feels a bit much. The first month of Ruby's life Arie and I really struggled and I made us struggle more because I felt like if I asked for help it was me failing. It got the the point we were so tired we were barely mentally stable, I asked my parents to watch Ruby, they came over for about 5 hours looked after her in the lounge while we slept. I'll never forget waking up from that sleep feeling like I finally had a grasp on reality again. I could now mother Ruby in the way she needed because I had taken time to heal myself.
7. New body
You'll have a new body, you'll have to learn to love the marks and saggy skin. I've never been one to love my body but I can honestly say after birthing a child I do now. It doesn't look like it used to but its better for it. I grew and nourished a human, tell me something thats more impressive than that?!
8. Having a shower everyday is an achievement
You had your hair out of a mum bun today too? You go glen coco you run this world.
9. A life time of worrying
Dr Google is your new best friend, you'll be looking up every bump, rash, symptom & poo to check its all normal. Not only that welcome to the world of worst case scenario. Its a cool game your head now plays where it thinks of THE WORST possible outcome of every situation. I asked my mum when this subsides, she said she still doesn't know.
10. Your heart now lives outside your body
You'll never get it back & wouldn't want it any other way