The other day Arie and I were at a restaurant and I over heard the VERY pregnant lady behind me order a "house sav". I thought, that cant be right? When their drinks were brought out I kept trying to peak and check whether I had heard right. The "trendy" restaurant we were at served all its drinks in mini little tumbler glasses - even wine so it was super hard to tell. When I went to pay for our meal I asked the waiter if what I had heard was correct. He told me yes.
I left feeling in two minds about the whole thing.
It wasn't all that long ago that we didn't know the effects off alcohol & smoking on an unborn baby and a lot of people were born perfectly "fine" even after pregnancies where this was the case. Heck if you are 9 months pregnant (like this lady was) and you haven't wanted a glass of wine or even a bottle I think you'd be alone. Its just whether you choose to act on that or not.
We are lucky now to live in a world where information is literally at our fingertips. There is constant research happening and midwives and doctors are more skilled now than ever before. That's why it struck me as a little crazy that this mother chose to have a drink. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about how much is too much and at what amount will it start to harm the baby but is that taste of alcohol worth the risk?
I remember being pregnant and everything I read - books, apps, magazines, pamphlets, all of it warned against alcohol consumption when pregnant. I was told by my doctor and midwife that there is no safe amount of alcohol that you can consume during pregnancy and that is what I lived by. Sure I bent the rules for sushi every now and again and if you think I gave up soft cheese you'd be wrong but I did both of these with knowledge of freshness etc so I knew I wasn't putting Ruby at risk. Had this mother also done her research and was happy to consume that drink in knowing her baby would be okay? Would one glass really hurt her baby? Am I a hypocrite because I ate sushi and I am passing judgement on her drinking wine when both aren't recommended while pregnant? All of these questions have been floating around in my head since and here is what I have decided.
Parenting and the choices that come with it starts from the get go. With that also comes the judgement. That starts then too. We are all different people raising different children on different journeys to success. What is one mothers choice might not be mine and I'm sure some of my choices wouldn't be hers. All I can hope for my journey and for every other mother is that each and every choice is an informed one and that lessons not regret follows if something goes wrong. We are all trying to be the best we can be, the best versions of ourselves and in that spirit (no pun intended) I wish her well.