CRAZY SUPERMARKET MUM.


This is a tale about a night when parenting kicked my ass and I was pure psycho. I hope when you fellow mamas read this it makes you laugh and realise we ALL have days like this when even basic things like going to the supermarket turn into a mini apocalypse. Side note there is no supermarket open past 10pm in Hamilton.

It all started on a Sunday night, Arie and I had shot a wedding on the Saturday and we got home exhausted from an engagement shoot at 8pm on the Sunday night. As I went to give ruby her last bottle for the night, she decided to be a right little madam and refused it. No prob, I put her on the ground to play for 20mins or so before she realised I was right the first time and that she was hungry. So I went about making her another bottle, I looked in the tin of formula and noticed the tide was waaaay out. We would be cutting it fine making what was left to last until the morning. 'Tomorrows problem' i foolishly thought. Got her to sleep then quickly did the same.

11pm rolls around and I wake up to Ruby crying (find me a worse alarm clock I dare you) went to make her a bottle and yup as I thought I had to use every last bit of what we had to make her this bottle. uggghhhh. I quickly did the maths, 0 milk + 8 hours until the supermarket opens again at 7am = we are screwed. Put her to bed again and went to bed praying that this would be the first night in a while she'd sleep a solid 8 hours. 2am and that blissful crying baby alarm clock goes off again.... I wake Arie & we try to make her a bottle of a very nasty kind of formula we have for her reflux (on a good day she wont drink it so it went super well in the middle of the night..) we tried to feed her solids, again no. In the end we gave her a nice bath and she relaxed back to sleep. Only 4 more hours until the supermarket opens.

6:30am yup you bloody guessed it the ol' baby alarm clock goes off. Why for the love of god couldn't she have lasted just 30 more minutes??? I leave Arie with a screaming hungry baby and speed to the supermarket.

Its 6:45am when i get there, all of the staff who work there are inside leaning on the tills chatting. I figure 'hey they look ready to work the place must open a little early, great luck!' hahahahahhahaha NO. I go and wait by the door (step one towards becoming crazy) I was that lady sanding at the glass door peering in looking expectantly at the staff. I think some other people who were waiting for the shop to open must have thought I was onto something though because about 6 other people joined me waiting, staring through the big glass doors, still no one let us in. It was 6:50am so technically they weren't open yet so I'll forgive them for that. 10 minutes felt like hours and all I could think about was the screaming baby I left Arie with and what she must be thinking & feeling.

(step two towards becoming crazy) I called Arie and asked him how she was doing he replied "okay", I thought he could sense the angst in my voice and was covering to help calm me down. The other 6 people waiting over heard my nervous call and I think it was this point when I grabbed their attention as someone to watch. I hung up the phone, it was now 7am. I looked around and noticed the lady next to me was in a uniform from the supermarket, she worked there and couldn't even get in! With a force of crazy I asked her "is there any way we can get their attention?" she looked at me and mumbled "I dont know"

(step three in becoming crazy) I decided I'd knock on the glass door to gently grab their attention as they had clearly forgotten to open the door. When out of nowhere came the biggest most violent powerful knock/bang I had ever done. It must have been a combination of nerves/angst/worry/guilt. I even shocked myself "shit that was a bit full on" I thought to myself "fuck got to run with it now though don't I?" It was the kind of thing that established my mood and I couldn't go back on it. I looked back to the people behind me. Their eyes wider than wide with shock that this little lady had banged so hard on the door it almost broke it. I turned back to the lady who worked there and exclaimed "I'm sorry its just I need formula, my baby is at home starving and I've had no sleep" she looked at me in even more shock, "oh no how old is she?" she asked. Quick thinking I lied about her age as if I had said 6 months she might have told me to 'just feed her food' "3 months old" I reply. Half in tears from shock and embarrassment. The lady working inside came and unlocked the door at this point. she had no idea how shitty her day was about to get.

(step four in becoming crazy) "its only just gone 7 oclock" she said. This is when I went full psycho. I turned, pulled out my phone and held it about an inch from her face showing her the screen with the time on it and in the lowest moodiest psycho voice I've ever had I said "ITS 7:02!!!!"

She stepped back and said "okay mam calm down" I had no time for her shit. I raced inside towards the baby isle, when i was greeted with the most amazing smell of pastries and fresh bread. DAMMIT! I cant exactly go and browse the bakery section after making a scene like that can I? I left the supermarket with 2 tins of formula so angry I almost contemplated shoplifting them. They made me wait till 7:02 after all. We now work on a constant replacement cycle with the 2 tins when one runs out so this NEVER happens again. That's my story about why I cant go to that supermarket anymore. I hope ya'll all learn from my mistakes.

-Tash


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